Love does…not dishonour
In Paul’s soaring hymn to love, nestled in the heart of his first letter to the Corinthians, he offers a tender yet piercing line: “Love does not dishonour.” The Greek word behind dishonour, ἀσχημονέω – aschēmonei suggests more than a breach of etiquette. It speaks of behaviour that is unfitting, indecent, or shameful. It implies something that violates dignity, that exposes someone to ridicule or shame, that treats another as less than fully human.
In the sacred space of prayer, I sit with this word. Aschēmonei love does not shame, does not disgrace, does not uncover another’s nakedness to expose them. It neither gloats nor sneers. It will not strip a soul of dignity for the sake of being right, powerful, or justified. Love does not dishonour… because love knows what honour is.
Honour, in the Biblical imagination, is rooted in recognising the image of God in another. It is not earned by behaviour or merit; it is intrinsic, bestowed by the Creator. To dishonour, then, is not simply a social devaluation, it is a theological rupture, a failure to see with God’s eyes. Love, true love, sees rightly.
When Paul says love does not dishonour, he is not merely instructing civility. He is naming a deep reverence that love carries into every interaction. Even when confronting sin or folly, love is never harsh or demeaning. Love protects. Love covers. Love, like Christ bending to wash the feet of his disciples, stoops not to diminish, but to raise up.
I wonder, how often have I, even subtly, allowed my tone, my silence, my posture to dishonour another? When have I wielded truth like a weapon and not as a soothing balm? When have I failed to offer the shelter of honour to a soul already wounded by the world?
In daily life, to love without dishonouring is to hold sacred the presence of the other. It means we do not exploit weakness, do not parade our superiority, do not delight in another’s shame. It means we speak carefully, listen deeply, and walk humbly. It means we remember that the person before us bears the mystery of God's breath.
To love in this way is not passive, it is a fierce gentleness, a holy restraint. It calls for an inner stillness that refuses to react from fear or ego. It invites us to live from the dignity we ourselves have received, so that we may bestow it freely. Let us then be people who honour. Who, even in silence, refuse to dishonour. Who, even in correction, uplift. Who, in love, preserve the glory of another’s soul. Love does not dishonour, because love sees what God sees.
A prayer of honouring.
Jesus our Lord
You who never shamed the broken
Who saw the woman at the well and called her to worship
Who met Peter’s betrayal with breakfast and a question
Who bore the insults of men and the weight of the cross without dishonouring
Teach us to love as You love
Let me be one who covers, not exposes
Who restores, not tears down
Who lifts up, not lords over
Where I have dishonoured others, forgive me
Where I have dishonoured myself, heal me
In every encounter, let me carry reverence
Let my presence be a shelter of honour
In a world hungry for dignity…Amen.
Jim Varsos